New Horizons
by abiholmes97
Summary: Jessica is moving out to start her college life. But she's afraid to leave her family behind.


New Horizons

09-16-17

So today is the day that my life begins.

Today is the day I move out and live as an independent grown-up.

No. Scratch that. I'm not a grown-up!

Let me rephrase, today is the day I live as an independent person!

So, why am I so scared?

I'm moving out, leaving the nest etc. For most 19-year-olds, they can't wait to get out of the house and live away from their parents, the allure of freedom so close they can almost taste it! But for me, it meant moving away from everything I held dear.

I had only really gotten to know my father within the last 5 years or so. The result of a secret love affair, I was tortured and abused by my late step-father, even miscarrying his child at the age of 12. My family had become my network, my lifeline. Since that bit of information had become public, my relations with my mom, dad and boyfriend had strengthened and things were much more open. But now, it felt like I was giving all of that up.

I was excited. I was headed to Princeton to start my theology degree, whilst taking courses in politics (to appease my Dad!). I couldn't wait. Jack had also gotten into Princeton to get his degree in psychology so that he could join the FBI and get into the BAU. His dad, having recently left, wasn't overly keen on this idea, but Jack was like Hayley. Once he got an idea in his head, he was going to do that idea, regardless of what his Dad or I said.

So that was my boyfriend sorted. We would be together at Princeton, be able to see each, support each other, love each other. The only thing was, Princeton is three hours away from Bethesda, where I lived. I had never been more than an hour away from home by myself before, let alone three. I hadn't even gone to visit my half-sister, Joy, by myself. I had always gone with Dad. So, to say I was nervous was the understatement of the century.

What I think I was more worried about was leaving Mom. We had never been apart for a significant period of time, I hadn't lived in a house without her. I was more worried about her being on her own than I was about me. Well, she wouldn't be on her own, she had Dad, but I think you know what I mean. She had been quite in the days leading up to the move, and I knew that meant she was hurting. One evening, when Dad was down the pub with Spence and Aaron after a day in the office, I made her a cup of tea and went and sat in bed, next to her.

There was a period of comfortable silence before I said, "I'm going to be ok, Mom."

The silence continued, "But I'm gonna miss you, every single day. I'll miss your smile, your hugs and your wise words of wisdom. I'll miss you shouting when I'm late for school or if I'm hanging around the team when they are supposed to be working. But I'm going to be ok. Jack's going to be with me, I'm not too far away, I'll call _everyday._ Just promise me that you will be ok?"

When she didn't reply, I looked up at her. Tears were slowly falling down her face. I put my tea on Dad's bedside table and snuggled into her. "I love you Mom. Through the good times and the bad. You have been there for me in so many ways that I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to live without you."

"Jessica Rossi," Mom finally said, her voice weak, "You will never be without me. Not for one minute. I'm a phone call away. Anytime that you are in trouble, you call me or your dad." She took a breath, steadying herself. "The reason I'm am sad is because you're my last baby to leave the nest, the last one to move out of the family home and it means that my job as a mother is complete. I have no more babies to raise, they are fully grown, amazing, capable adults. And I am prouder of you than Amber and James put together and do you know why?"

I shook my head, trying to hold back my own tears.

"It's because you have faced more, dealt with more than anyone of your age should have to face. You are strong, Jessica, so much more than me or Dave. I wish every single day that I could take back what happened to you and make it so that it didn't happen, but you wouldn't be who you are today. So, while I think that we are both sad and nervous and excited all rolled into one mix, I think that we need to see this as the start of a new adventure."

I smiled. My mom was going to be fine. I looked up at her. "Promise me, you'll come visit?"

She smiled back, "Oh, try and stop me!" And we both laughed.

Move day came and went successfully. My new student room was amazing, and Ashley came to help make it look exactly like home. Dad even gave me his old coffee machine, so we could make 'posh' coffee. Speaking of Dad, we had a chat before I went away as well. I was sat in his office on my last night at home. Him, mom and I were going out for dinner that evening. Dad was scratching away at paper work and I was sat writing out a new song. Strumming through my guitar, working out a few cords, Dad looked up and smiled. It was one of his favourite things, apparently, to sit cross legged outside my room and listen to me sing and rearrange songs.

"Sounding good, Jess." He said, coming round to sit on the sofa. "You have a talent you know?"

I smiled and put the guitar down.

"Thanks Dad!" I said, "At least if my degree goes south, I have something to fall back on!"

He smiled, "Your degree won't go south, kiddo, you're a smart kid."

"Thanks, but you're my Dad. You're supposed to say that!"

"I wasn't always you're Dad. Well I was, but I didn't know and neither did you. I watched you grow up in these offices. They were you're playground. I remember Spence teaching you physics, Derek teaching you to play ball in the corridor. I can remember JJ helping you with your homework and Matt making you laugh. And then you would come and sit in my office and talk to me about your day. When you got into music, you would come and practice in my office and run songs and tunes by me. I may not have been your father, but I watched you grow up and I knew that you were going to be a smart kid, destined for great things."

"I wish I had known that you were my Dad when I was growing up!"

"So do I kiddo, so do I."

"I love you. Don't ever forget that."

He shook his head. "I won't, Jessie, I will never forget."

"Promise you'll come visit. Even if you get a case in Philly, please come and say hi?"

"Miss a chance to visit my bambina, no chance. I'll be there, even if it means I don't fly home!"

I laughed. Suddenly I felt better about leaving home. But I wasn't really leaving. It would always be home, and my family would always be there. I was simply starting a new chapter in my book, turning over a new page.

And I couldn't wait.


End file.
